Irony is much like a souffle: great care must be taken when preparing it, lest the final product collapse into a mess. Strangely (dare I say…ironically?), some of the most delicious irony – the kind you need a chainsaw to cut – comes our way at the hands of those too stupid and clueless to understand the gift they are giving. Today’s teachable moment comes to us courtesy of a Republican State Committee member from Gloucester County who, by all indications, benefited little from the schooling I gave him last year.
I’m referring, of course, to Rob Eichmann – the conservative movement’s answer to the question “Who farted?” He’s the guy sitting in back row with a smirk on his face and a Bic lighter in his hand. Regular readers who are familiar with Rockin’ Robbo to the point of nausea are on notice to break out the barf bags: if you thought last year was brutal, then start taking the Dramamine now. It’s an election year here in the Garden State and in the course of the current Republican primary you can expect Der Eichmeister to engage in the sort of schizoid political cannibalism that would turn Hannibal Lecter into a vegan.
Robbo’s present mission of Jacobin vandalism involves the personal destruction of GOP candidate for U.S. Senate Bader Qarmout. Despite the fact that Qarmout is an absolute political newbie whose astonishing naivete pretty much ensures 99 to 1 odds in favor of a humiliating defeat at the hands of Joltin’ Joe Kyrillos (the GOP’s answer to the question “Who’s the next RINO to go down in defeat at the hands of a Democrat incumbent?”), Der Eichmeister is determined to push the odds to 100% by engaging in a slash and burn campaign he calls “vetting.” But more of that later, dear readers.
For the time being, today’s portion of irony may found in Eichmann’s response to the article I posted yesterday in which I wondered aloud at the strangely contradictory nature of CNJ these days: Eichmann is a cheerleader for the Congressional candidacy of former Highlands Mayor Anna Little while Richard Zeundt – ostensibly the blogger-in-chief of this once credible political website – disdains Ms. Little as a “RINO kewpie doll.” One doesn’t have to be a logician to realize that these opinions aren’t just different – they are totally contradictory.
Here’s the set up: last year, Eichmann, Zeundt, Wee Willy Winkler and others did their level best to destroy Barbara Gonzalez and the Bayshore Tea Party group because Barb and her gang dared to veer off Steve Lonegan’s personal Tea Party reservation by holding opinions of their own. Thanks to the arrogant selfishness of these Jacobins, the Tea Party movement in New Jersey is fractured and the conservative movement pretty much destroyed.
And now, for your moment of ironical zen, here is Rockin’ Robbo’s reaction to my musings:
You see, we are Americans. Americans can disagree. It is protected under the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. As Americans, we understand this.
Apparently there are some so-called “tea party conservatives” who seek to replace this American principle by straightjacketing opinion in a kind of jack-booted lockstep. No thanks. We’ll pass. We’re Americans.
Break out the chainsaw, boys and girls. In the months ahead, it’s going to come in awfully handy.