As the author of a novel-in-progress that focuses on evolutionary vampires – or Nocturnals, as they refer to themselves – I’m always amused when I read occasional news accounts of deranged human beings who believe themselves to be “vampires.” Those who have ever read more than one of these accounts will nod their heads in agreement when I cynically observe that every single one of these nutjobs insists he or she has walked the night-time earth for centuries. Good grief…are there no newly minted undead bloodsuckers out there?
Case in point is this idiot who steadfastly maintains that he is a 500 year-old vampire:
Police in Galveston arrested 19-year-old Lyle Monroe Bensley early on Saturday on charges of burglary with intent to commit assault, The Galveston County Daily News reports.
Bensley — clad only in boxer shorts — forced his way into the victim’s apartment, entered her bedroom and began to make growling and hissing sounds, investigators told The Houston Chronicle.
The suspect allegedly attacked the woman in bed, biting and hitting her.
Police believe Bensley then tried to force the victim to leave the apartment, but the woman was able to break free and seek protection in a car driven by neighbors. The suspect allegedly struck the car’s windows as it drove away, The Daily News notes.
After receiving a call at around 6:50 a.m., officers arrived at the victim’s apartment. While searching the crime scene, they heard yells and growls coming from the parking lot, where they say they spotted Bensley.
Police reportedly took him into custody after a brief pursuit.
“He was begging us to restrain him because he didn’t want to kill us,” Galveston Officer Daniel Erickson told The Houston Chronicle. “He said he needed to feed.”
Just one teensy problem with this scenario: in Galveston on August 16 the sun rose at 6:48 AM. Perhaps he was aware of this and donned a couple of tubes worth of sunblock. Or perhaps – just perhaps – a regimen of heavy medication and serious couch time are called for.
Sheesh…it’s idiot wannabes like this guy who give the real vampires among us a bad name.