My Cat Lawrence Meets a Christmas Tree

Most people here have seen pictures of Nicole’s beautiful dog, so I thought I would introduce all of you to my cat Lawrence, who was introduced to the Christmas season for the first time today…

Today was the unofficial start of the Christmas season in our house, as we began to put up decorations and outside lights, which we will finish tomorrow. Though I was never a fan of rushing things in November, I will be away next weekend (a trip to Lancaster, Pennsylvania) so we wanted to get things done now. This will also be our first holiday season with Lawrence, my ever-nosy and troublesome cat, who seems to always do something destructive on a daily basis. If you have read my “Week in Review” articles from the past summer and spring, then you are well of his antics, and how he was named after Union General Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. Over the last few weeks, I have been anxiously awaiting his reaction to my family putting up a Christmas tree. Whenever we bring something new into the house, he has to pretend he is Inspector Clouseau and check everything out—the “bomb-sniffing cat”, as we call him. Because he always finds ways to get into trouble and have fun with decorations, I was very nervous about our tree. We decided not to put up the big tree in the family room until we get back from Pennsylvania, because he would probably find a way to destroy it.

However, this morning I did decide to put up the small tree that goes in my room every year, one that I fill with the old Hallmark collectible sports ornaments, that include the likes of Wayne Gretzky, Jaromir Jagr, Mario Lemieux, Eric Lindros, Gordie Howe, Cal Ripken Jr., and Barry Bonds. I had taken it out of the basement and carried it upstairs, before leaving it just inside my doorway so I could move something. Lo and behold, ten seconds later, my greatest fears were realized: with eyes wide, Lawrence walked into my room, sniffed the tree, then stood on his hind legs and kicked it to the ground, before prancing around it in circles, like he was proud of a great kill:

After picking it up and checking the damage, which includes the first casualty of the 2011 Christmas season being Gordie Howe’s hockey stick, which snapped in half, I moved it to the corner of my room and he followed it, of course. He continued to circle it before hopping up on my window ledge to try to give it another go. This time, I was able to scare him away, but then when I returned after about a half hour, the tree was down yet again. It looks like this is going to be war. Here he is, just a few minutes ago, eying up the prey, before turning to me with a guilty look on his face:

Dare I say this is doubtless going to be an exciting Christmas season. While I am dreading how he will react to our big tree filled with tons of lights and ornaments, it will probably be the cat-alyst (sorry), for some very funny stories.

I also hope to put up some other articles about my general frustration and anger regarding the upcoming commercialization and political correctness of the “Holiday” season in the next few weeks.

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Greg Caggiano is a 20-year-old historian, writer, and hockey coach whose sports writing covers New York Rangers hockey and San Francisco Giants baseball. His blog, From New York to San Francisco, also features his musings on movies, music, books, history and current events.

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