Keep Your Mouth Shut, Dick!

Morbid curiosity drove me to visit the Jacobin freak show otherwise known as Conservative New Jersey on election night; I wanted to see just how The Dick and Company were dealing with an electoral outcome that I pretty much understood to be a foregone conclusion numerous moons ago, when the redistricting commission ensured that the gerrymandered mess that passes for a legislative district map continued to deliver a Democrat majority to the state legislature.

Nothing yet has appeared regarding the Tuesday election, but I did find this charming poison pen piece authored by none other than The Dick himself, in which he totally trashes Newt Gingrich for urging Herman Cain to directly confront charges of misconduct being leveled against him by former National Restaurant Association employee Sharon Bialek:

“I think when you move from anonymity to a person standing up in that setting, clearly Herman Cain has to answer the charges, he has to explain what happened. I think that’s unavoidable,” Gingrich said. “He both owes her that, but he also owes the American people that. … He has to have an answer and it had better be accurate, because if it’s not accurate, it won’t survive 24 hours.”

For better or worse and regardless of his own personal baggage, Newt was spot-on accurate – so much so that the Hermanator followed his advice to the letter and held a press conference to address the controversy directly. In The Dick’s parochial consciousness, a tactical suggestion necessarily equates to judgmental condemnation – and if it’s anyone who understands judgmental condemnation, it’s The Dick, who prefaces his attack piece with:

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and see just what qualifications the Newt has to be sitting in judgment of Herman Cain.

Trouble is that Newt wasn’t sitting in judgment of Herman Cain – he was dispensing valuable political advice, which Cain properly followed. Unfortunately, The Dick is too obtuse to deal with the subtle nuances that often permeate these situations, and so he commences his attack by highlighting the skeletons in Gingrich’s personal closet – starting with his marriage to Jackie Battley when he was 19 years old and she was 26 :

In fact, she was the Newt’s geometry teacher.  They got married when the Newt was in college, but one has to wonder, did the Newt “do” the chaperone on the night of the senior prom?

You stay classy, Dick.

Feeling that the perfect time to discuss the terms of their divorce was while his wife Jackie was recovering from uterine cancer surgery, the Newt, when he did not get the answers he wanted, stopped paying child support.  Things became so bad for his family; the local church had to provide aid to them.  Of course the Newt wasn’t bothered by any of this; he was bopping his soon to be second wife.

Leave it to The Dick to dispense with any in-depth research and instead default – as he usually does – to the Drive-By memeplex when it suits the purpose of his particular political jihad. Jackie Gingrich Cushman – Newt’s daughter – corrects The Dick regarding that infamous hospital visit:

As for my parents’ divorce, I can remember when they told me.

It was the spring of 1980.

I was 13 years old, and we were about to leave Fairfax, Va., and drive to Carrollton, Ga., for the summer. My parents told my sister and me that they were getting a divorce as our family of four sat around the kitchen table of our ranch home.

Soon afterward, my mom, sister and I got into our light-blue Chevrolet Impala and drove back to Carrollton.

Later that summer, Mom went to Emory University Hospital in Atlanta for surgery to remove a tumor. While she was there, Dad took my sister and me to see her.

It is this visit that has turned into the infamous hospital visit about which many untruths have been told. I won’t repeat them. You can look them up online if you are interested in untruths. But here’s what happened:

My mother and father were already in the process of getting a divorce, which she requested.

Dad took my sister and me to the hospital to see our mother.

She had undergone surgery the day before to remove a tumor.

The tumor was benign.

As with many divorces, it was hard and painful for all involved, but life continued.

Indeed it does. And life can be awfully messy – especially where marriage and divorce are involved, with so many crucial details that never see the light of day. A messy divorce is the ultimate “he said/she said” conflict and no one who is not a direct party to the dispute can ever know what really transpired between husband and wife. In a less-than-perfect world, less-than-perfect humans commit less-than-perfect deeds; some are driven by ego and others by the desperate loneliness incurred by a less-than-perfect union.

God alone is the witness, the judge and ultimately the physician of souls. Anyone who has ever  been divorced or is presently going through a divorce will understand this without any further elucidation. Nevertheless, there will always be those on the sidelines who are anxious to hurl that first stone – you know, the one Jesus warned not to hurl. But then, such exertions come easily to Jacobins – whose robotic Manicheanism has become the gold standard for 21st century Pharisees.

And what bigger Pharisee than The Dick himself who, in a moment of unguarded irony, leveled this final charge at Newt Gingrich:

This is nothing but a witch hunt going on here and it is to be expected that a sleaze ball like the Newt would join in.  If he is not wallowing around in the manure he just doesn’t feel like he is alive.

Breathtaking, is it not? Who but Dick Zeundt would have the temerity to level at Newt Gingrich the very charge of which he himself is so egregiously guilty?

Recall that it was The Dick himself who early this year commenced a baseless and totally unfounded witch hunt against the Bayshore Tea Party and its founders, Barbara Gonzalez and Bob Gordon – a witch hunt replete with libel, defamation and character assassination,  the very tactics now being deployed against Herman Cain.

The irony is so thick you need a chain saw to cut it. Hypocrisy: thy name is Dick Zeundt.

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